“I’m dating three girls right now,” said one of my 20-something friends.
“For how long? And where are they tonight?” I asked trying to figure out why my 20-something friend needed additional companionship if had three others in the pipeline.
“One I’ve been dating for 8-months, one 3 for three months, the other about two,” he continues, “One has a thing with her mom, another doesn’t like techno, and the other is out of town.”
“Wow,” I said.
This was perhaps my first realization of the type of person my ‘friend’ really was. A few months earlier he asked me out for a drink. I told him I wasn’t looking to get into something at that point, I had just gotten out of a relationship.
Not liking this response he told me “I can’t be friends with girls I am attracted to.” But that hasn’t stopped us from hanging out together and going to events since then.
Nearly everyone bemoans the current dating scene. Swipe left, swipe right some mindless back forth that usually goes nowhere, and does nothing. But that was never the intent of this blog, so I would like to focus on the ridiculousness of some of the interactions I have regularly had with 20-something guys.
Thursday, November 3, 2016
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Still Married....Not Even Separated
“You’re friends with *Tina?” asked a 30-something co-worker over coffee.
“Yea, we know each other,” I said hesitantly knowing what he was getting at. I work in a very large building, with plenty of predominantly male co-workers. While a few have directly asked me out on a “date,” which I have come to learn that some is almost as serious as a marriage proposal to some, plenty have asked me to have coffee, meet in center court, or even have lunch ‘casually.’ A few weeks earlier, a mutual acquaintance *Tina stopped me in the halls to ask if I knew the man sitting across from me, stating “he had a crush on me,” realizing the ridiculousness of her statement.
I agreed to have a coffee with the muscular Italian, Anthony, only to find out he was married with a child. “I’m in bad marriage but would you like to hang out?” was his comment.
“I would rather not get involved with someone that is married, especially if you are not separated or divorced,” I said.
“Could I just have some time to explain my situation a little better?” he asked. I declined.
A few days later, I ran into *Tina. Although I was not mad I asked her if she was aware *Anthony was married.
“I had no idea until AFTER you had coffee with him!” she said shocked.
This incident shook me up more than it should have. I have a friend that seems to attract “I might be getting divorced” men. Perhaps it is our age, our overall appearance, or some vibe that is given off-but this is a common problem she has. My advice to men in this situation-FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT BEFORE YOU GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE!
“Yea, we know each other,” I said hesitantly knowing what he was getting at. I work in a very large building, with plenty of predominantly male co-workers. While a few have directly asked me out on a “date,” which I have come to learn that some is almost as serious as a marriage proposal to some, plenty have asked me to have coffee, meet in center court, or even have lunch ‘casually.’ A few weeks earlier, a mutual acquaintance *Tina stopped me in the halls to ask if I knew the man sitting across from me, stating “he had a crush on me,” realizing the ridiculousness of her statement.
I agreed to have a coffee with the muscular Italian, Anthony, only to find out he was married with a child. “I’m in bad marriage but would you like to hang out?” was his comment.
“I would rather not get involved with someone that is married, especially if you are not separated or divorced,” I said.
“Could I just have some time to explain my situation a little better?” he asked. I declined.
A few days later, I ran into *Tina. Although I was not mad I asked her if she was aware *Anthony was married.
“I had no idea until AFTER you had coffee with him!” she said shocked.
This incident shook me up more than it should have. I have a friend that seems to attract “I might be getting divorced” men. Perhaps it is our age, our overall appearance, or some vibe that is given off-but this is a common problem she has. My advice to men in this situation-FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT BEFORE YOU GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Buying a Bike and a Wife
Most of the guys I work with have money to spend on extraneous toys or midlife crisis accessories. Again, I say guys because I do not work with any women regularly. One of my male co-workers recently separated from his wife of 18 years and decided it was time for a new toy, or two.
"Did I show you pictures of the new bike I'm buying?" asked one of my male co-workers, pulling out his phone to show pictures of him posed on a custom painted chopper.
"Wow its beautiful," I said admiring his new toy.
"Yea it is gorgeous," said my co-worker, "and you should have seen the guy's wife. I was going to offer him another 20 grand for his wife she was so hot."
My co-worker is not yet divorced, he is only separated. Although I know he was joking, it was very inappropriate to put a price on a women. He has worked in countries where this is the custom, a monetary value is put on your future bride. However, this was New York. Monetary value aside-this woman was married.
"Did I show you pictures of the new bike I'm buying?" asked one of my male co-workers, pulling out his phone to show pictures of him posed on a custom painted chopper.
"Wow its beautiful," I said admiring his new toy.
"Yea it is gorgeous," said my co-worker, "and you should have seen the guy's wife. I was going to offer him another 20 grand for his wife she was so hot."
My co-worker is not yet divorced, he is only separated. Although I know he was joking, it was very inappropriate to put a price on a women. He has worked in countries where this is the custom, a monetary value is put on your future bride. However, this was New York. Monetary value aside-this woman was married.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Another Strip Club Waitress
There is no secret what really goes on behind the scenes at restaurant and bars. A cook is always sleeping with a waitress, who is angry because she caught the manager sleeping with a hostess while he was suppose to be sleeping with her. Constant drama is the norm in most restaurants. Just like the field I work in now, nearly everyone had a back story that involved a little bit of uncouth activity.
"I used to waitress at [Generic Strip Club/Topless Bar]," said one of my 20-something female co-workers.
"Wow that must have been a tough job," I said imagining the daily grope fest she must have endured.
"It had its moments," she replied,"I got a lot of weird requests. One time this old guy told me he would give me $150 to show him my tits-so I did it."
"You did?" I asked shocked-this women was now a mother of two, and didn't seem like the type to do that.
"Yea its not a huge deal-its not the same as stripping," she said.
A few of the other girls we worked with "stripped on the side," a term that meant they weren't full fledge strippers or didn't consider themselves strippers because they actually worked at topless bars. I suppose flashing is not the same as stripping, but waitressing at a strip club and flashing customers could easily lead to being a full-fledge stripper.
"I used to waitress at [Generic Strip Club/Topless Bar]," said one of my 20-something female co-workers.
"Wow that must have been a tough job," I said imagining the daily grope fest she must have endured.
"It had its moments," she replied,"I got a lot of weird requests. One time this old guy told me he would give me $150 to show him my tits-so I did it."
"You did?" I asked shocked-this women was now a mother of two, and didn't seem like the type to do that.
"Yea its not a huge deal-its not the same as stripping," she said.
A few of the other girls we worked with "stripped on the side," a term that meant they weren't full fledge strippers or didn't consider themselves strippers because they actually worked at topless bars. I suppose flashing is not the same as stripping, but waitressing at a strip club and flashing customers could easily lead to being a full-fledge stripper.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Never a Stripper, Always a Waitress
My co-workers and I had a running joke. Girls that work at strip clubs were always a waitress and never admitted to being a stripper. When I worked as a waitress (at a restaurant) I knew a few girls that admitted to stripping on the side just to say they did it, or doing bizarre things while working as waitress at a strip club. None of them ever came out and said they were a stripper and that was how they made their money. This all changed one day when I was Sales Rep. for one of the big four cell phone companies.
"Do you work there?" I asked a customer nodding at to the tight fitting baby t-shirt from one of the strip clubs in the area she was wearing.
"Yes I do," she freely admitted with a hint of hesitation.
"Thats cool, we see a lot of the girls come through here," I said pointing at the three lingerie shops very close to the store I worked in. Many of them were are customers and stopped by during the shopping trips when looking for their work clothes-again always waitresses.
"It's not bad there, I work in the topless bar half but after 2 am they sometimes let us come over to the strip club part," she continued while texting away on her phone,"you usually don't even have to get naked but you can still make great tips."
Me and my 20-something co-worker were very taken by this statement-I said before every girl that worked at the strip clubs in the area said they were a waitress and never a striper. I should also mention the difference between a topless bar and strip club is not much-it just means the girls have to keep their thongs on, but the patrons can still drink liquor. Alcoholic beverages of any kind are forbidden in strip clubs in this state.
Eventually the girl left and not long after my 20-something co-worker asked me what her number was, "Really? You want her number? We can't do that in the first place-and you want to date a stripper?"
"You got to give her credit-she was upfront about her job, if she didn't lie about that-she probably will be honestly about everything else," said my 20-something co-worker.
I thought of my 20-something co-workers (and still do) as lacking a moral code, and this blog is the proof. Perhaps he did just want her to say he dated or picked up a hot stripper, but for once I like to think he actually was actually thinking with his other head (although I doubt it).
"Do you work there?" I asked a customer nodding at to the tight fitting baby t-shirt from one of the strip clubs in the area she was wearing.
"Yes I do," she freely admitted with a hint of hesitation.
"Thats cool, we see a lot of the girls come through here," I said pointing at the three lingerie shops very close to the store I worked in. Many of them were are customers and stopped by during the shopping trips when looking for their work clothes-again always waitresses.
"It's not bad there, I work in the topless bar half but after 2 am they sometimes let us come over to the strip club part," she continued while texting away on her phone,"you usually don't even have to get naked but you can still make great tips."
Me and my 20-something co-worker were very taken by this statement-I said before every girl that worked at the strip clubs in the area said they were a waitress and never a striper. I should also mention the difference between a topless bar and strip club is not much-it just means the girls have to keep their thongs on, but the patrons can still drink liquor. Alcoholic beverages of any kind are forbidden in strip clubs in this state.
Eventually the girl left and not long after my 20-something co-worker asked me what her number was, "Really? You want her number? We can't do that in the first place-and you want to date a stripper?"
"You got to give her credit-she was upfront about her job, if she didn't lie about that-she probably will be honestly about everything else," said my 20-something co-worker.
I thought of my 20-something co-workers (and still do) as lacking a moral code, and this blog is the proof. Perhaps he did just want her to say he dated or picked up a hot stripper, but for once I like to think he actually was actually thinking with his other head (although I doubt it).
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Sitting In a Truck
"Up in North Dakota I was at a site with a bunch of guys, there were no women delivery people or 2nd parties either," said one of my co-workers,"so any women that showed up on site automatically stuck out."
Although I am the only woman on site regularly, we do occasionally have a female delivery worker, consultant, or day worker show up.
"After a few nights out on site I noticed she sat in her car usually, so I asked one of the guys who she was-he told me she was so-and-so's old lady (wife)," continued my co-worker, "most of the guys didn't bring their wives up to North Dakota and almost all the guys were from the south so I asked him if she ever cold just sitting in her truck all night and why she didn't go into one of the trailers. He didn't really have an answer and just sort of smile and shook me off."
"The next day the lady's 'husband' showed up and asked me if I wanted to spend some time with her. I didn't know what that meant at first until he quoted me a price."
"He was tricking out his WIFE?" I exclaimed.
"Well, a little while later I asked around and found out she was a stripper in town at one of the clubs, and he married her up here a month or two before. He was collecting cash on the side while she slept with some of the guys on site," explained my co-worker.
Hookers masquerade as different things out here, and none of their cover stories surprise me any more. Making money on the side with your new stripper wife, or girl from back home are just a few of the ways women and men make money off the books and on site.
Although I am the only woman on site regularly, we do occasionally have a female delivery worker, consultant, or day worker show up.
"After a few nights out on site I noticed she sat in her car usually, so I asked one of the guys who she was-he told me she was so-and-so's old lady (wife)," continued my co-worker, "most of the guys didn't bring their wives up to North Dakota and almost all the guys were from the south so I asked him if she ever cold just sitting in her truck all night and why she didn't go into one of the trailers. He didn't really have an answer and just sort of smile and shook me off."
"The next day the lady's 'husband' showed up and asked me if I wanted to spend some time with her. I didn't know what that meant at first until he quoted me a price."
"He was tricking out his WIFE?" I exclaimed.
"Well, a little while later I asked around and found out she was a stripper in town at one of the clubs, and he married her up here a month or two before. He was collecting cash on the side while she slept with some of the guys on site," explained my co-worker.
Hookers masquerade as different things out here, and none of their cover stories surprise me any more. Making money on the side with your new stripper wife, or girl from back home are just a few of the ways women and men make money off the books and on site.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Michelle Meet Michelle
"When I was up here a little while back I was hanging out with these two different girls-luckily they were both named Michelle," said my well over 20-something supervisor. "One was a gal I knew from a sales girl out here, and the other was waitress at this bar I went to."
"Well thats good, you could never mix up their names then," I said still realizing this man was married and probably had another girlfriend in a different state bringing his total to at least four romantic partners.
"Yea that was great at first," continued the supervisor, "but one day Michelle was suppose to come out and meet me in the afternoon and was late-and the other Michelle was going to come out and meet me in the evening for a late night."
"Oh no," I said knowing where this story was going.
"Michelle one was just leaving the trailer as Michelle two was showing up and walking in, so I said 'Michelle meet Michelle'."
"I know there's not a lot of women out here-but why didn't you try to play it off like she was consultant or a sales rep?" I asked.
"Well you need to see how my girls dress," said the supervisor,"but after the first Michelle left she texted me from the car to say "Damnit [supervisor's name] she's gorgeous!"
I'm not sure if either relationship continued after this, but each girl had the benefit most women do not-knowing full well their partner was not exclusive and exactly what their competition looked like.
"Well thats good, you could never mix up their names then," I said still realizing this man was married and probably had another girlfriend in a different state bringing his total to at least four romantic partners.
"Yea that was great at first," continued the supervisor, "but one day Michelle was suppose to come out and meet me in the afternoon and was late-and the other Michelle was going to come out and meet me in the evening for a late night."
"Oh no," I said knowing where this story was going.
"Michelle one was just leaving the trailer as Michelle two was showing up and walking in, so I said 'Michelle meet Michelle'."
"I know there's not a lot of women out here-but why didn't you try to play it off like she was consultant or a sales rep?" I asked.
"Well you need to see how my girls dress," said the supervisor,"but after the first Michelle left she texted me from the car to say "Damnit [supervisor's name] she's gorgeous!"
I'm not sure if either relationship continued after this, but each girl had the benefit most women do not-knowing full well their partner was not exclusive and exactly what their competition looked like.
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