Monday, February 28, 2011

NOT Another College Girl

One of my 20-something co-workers frequently complained about the girls that lived in our town. Yes this was a blanket statement, but in a way I agreed with him. We lived in a college town and there were very few job opportunities upon graduation. Because of these combined factors, many of the young women in the town were college girls. As a professional Sales Representative, my co-worker deemed most college girls ineligible of his time because of a "maturity" factor. On occasion, he did manage to meet a young professional of the opposite sex that was worthy of his time.......

"So she's not in school? What does she do around here? Is she a townie?" I asked my 20-something co-worker after finding out he was interested in some one as more than a sex-buddy.

"She works at the newspaper," he responded, "But she also has a boyfriend.....I think they will break up soon he's a total douche."

"Uh ok, I don't think its a very good idea to start hanging around some one with a boyfriend. If she wanted to break up with him, she would have," I said.

"No really he's a jerk. He was at some country last summer and ran this golf cart into the lake but didn't tell his dad until he got the bill like at the end of the year. Then his dad saw the like $15,000 charge. Anyway I'm going to hang out with her tonight," stated my 20-something co-worker.

"Well do what you want, but I bet she brings her boyfriend to the bar," I said.

I ended up being right. She brought her boyfriend to the bar and my 20-something co-worker was miserable, except when they broke away from her boyfriend to make out for a while.....but that's another post.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Hot Girl Discount and Perks

A few years ago I started my first sales job, as a Sales Representative for one of the big four cellphone companies. One of my co-workers, who has been mentioned on here before, was a particularly adept representative when it came to helping out attractive female customers.

"Thank you so much for giving me your old phone," chirped an attractive brunette, "I do not know what I would have done."

"You're welcome, I mean I wasn't going to use it any more anyway. It doesn't work so well sometimes so if you have any questions or have any problems with it just give me a call," said my 20-something male co-worker.

"Ok I will," the girl answered smiling," I think I should probably get a case or something for this phone, do you guys do student discounts here?"

We didn't offer discounts on accessories, unless it was for a business account.

"Sure we do, its 25% off," answered my 20-something male co-worker.

After the transaction was completed I looked to another co-worker to ask about students discounts. She assured me we only gave discounts on business accounts, but told me our 20-something male co-worker had his own version of a discount plan.

"I call it the hot girl discount and perks card. If you're a hot girl with no ring on your finger-you can get a discount on almost anything if you talk to the right person here," she replied knowing exactly who I was talking about.

Over the years I worked with this 20-something male co-worker I realized how true this was. Although it was not against policy to give student discounts, and we were allotted a small amount of money to "play with" each month, it was mostly attractive girls that were given the advantage with this particular representative. Giving his phone away did eventually come back to bite him when he had one phone stollen and another doused in beer at the bar, but he is still a top performing rep at this company. is giving away a $100 virtual gift card for! Cruise over there for some great skincare and beauty advice and a chance to win!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

We're Not in the USA Anymore.....

"So, explain to me again why your dad lives in Venezuela of all places?" I asked one of my half-Caucasian, half-Jewish co-workers.

"Theres a few reasons, he does not want to pay alimony to his nine ex-wives," explained my co-worker, "the first time he went down this little sixteen year old sat in his lap and never left-she was a hot a little thing, but mostly we both like to party."

"Party like how?" I joked thinking the answer involved any number of elicit substances.

"I'm telling you I do not know how many broads I banged down there. I seriously lost track," stated my co-worker.

"Uh......I know Venezuela is not exactly the third world but......"

"Yea I know where you going with this, when I got back I was paranoid about AIDS, and other stuff. I had my doctor test me everything. I'm clean," he said with a wink.

I understand it takes two to tango, but there are just so many issues I have with this conversation. I suppose there are cultural differences that permit the courting of 16-year old girl. Many South and Latin Americans are married by the age of 16 or 15, but the fact that he rushed into yet another after having nine ex-wives seems like it could have been another disaster. As for my co-worker who did nothing but screw around for four months, I am glad he thought about condoms after the fact.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Guys With Tattoos

"Do you like guys with tattoos," one of my 20-something male workers asked.

Looking around the room at quite a few of the heavily tattooed men, I knew only one answer would please him.

"Do YOU?" I asked in an attempt to deflect.

"Dude I am so sick of you asking every chick we meet that question," retorted one of the other 20-something males, "Last night this ass hole asked this bartender who weighed about the three of combined that question!"

"Well, did she?" I laughed.

"Dude I do not even care she was so f*ing fat and had as many tattoos as me. This douche bag gave her my number now I've got a fat chick on my back. If her fat ass shows up here you gotta pretend like your my girl," he pleaded with me.

Normally I do not play these games, but harassment by some one you are not interested in not funny. "I can't get into a fight with a fat chick," a said "But you guys do feed me every night when I show up so I'll go with it."

A recent study in Men's World showed that as much as thirty percent of men would break up with their wife or girl friend if they put on more than 15 to 20 pounds. Only seven percent of women said they would do the same. Perhaps the bartender had an a terrible personality, or he was just not interested but I am guessing her weight shadowed any connection he might have had.