Monday, March 21, 2011

Sex In the Fitting Rooms

In the mid-west we have a super grocer known as Meijer. Visitors usually compare Meijer to Walmart, they both sell clothing, food, housewares, ikea-style furniture, liquor and just about anything under the sun. However, Meijer is owned by the farmers of the mid-west which makes it more of a local favorite. Usually in the middle of the store, there are fitting rooms which allow people to try on the cheap clothes.

"Two friends of mine, used to have sex in the fitting rooms at Meijer," one of my 20-something co-workers stated, "They would make a game of it. They really enjoyed doing it, kind of like a joke."

"Well what would they do when they got caught?" I asked.

"I guess the only thing you can do, zip up and leave laughing. They did it a lot, and usually until they got caught," he answered.

"Did they at least do it at night when there were fewer people and no kids around?" I asked.

"Yea probably, they were old enough. They were not teenagers either." He said.

I should mention Meijer is an open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week establishment. Having been there many times at midnight or later, it does not surprise me that a couple could get away with having sex in the fitting rooms during the late evening early morning hours. With reduced staff and limited video surveillance in the fitting rooms, I can see why fitting rooms may be a tempting place to get it on. What strikes me as odd, was the couple was in their 20s and most likely had apartments or homes of their own to be doing that sort of thing.

Sunday, March 13, 2011


This past weekend I visited my sister. Since she is still in college, we did the customary visiting college tradition and attended a party. I met many people but one 20-something male's introductory story stuck out to me.

"So tell my sister about when you had sex behind the vending machines at the union!" said my sister to a guy that was talking to us.

"Ok so I was at the student union and this group of girls came up to me. They were drunk and this one girl was like 'Hey come on.' I do not think she planned on it getting that far, we were like making out and stuff and one thing lead to another, and yea," he said laughing.

"Wow!" I said, "How did you get behind some vending machines? They are usually pretty close to the wall," I asked.

"Well yea, they are. But when we got back there, a few of them were angled so there was room. We did it standing up, there was not room to like lay down or anything," He answered.

I will probably never see this kid again, nor do I remember his name. However, this was my first impression of him. An individual only gets one shot at a first impression, so should I ever meet him again he will always be the kid who sex behind the vending machines at the student union.

I realize there is a post on this blog very similar to this from one of my 20-something male co-workers of the past. I mentioned the incidence with my co-worker to the kid. He laughed, and said he knew other people with similar stories. Since I have never seen a comment on this blog, maybe some one could post a comment about participating or knew of some one participating in an incident like these. You can do it anonymously or use a fake name and email-and you do not have to be specific. Essentially I am just looking for numbers for here.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Used Undergarments

"Dude [generic male name] is such a messed up f*ck," said a 20-something male friend of mine over drinks. "You know how his girlfriend had a boob job?"

"Yea I remember," I answered. I generally do not approve of breast enhancement surgery, and in a way, the surgery came back to bite her. "She is still paying it off and doesn't have such a great job, so I know the payments have been difficult on her."

"Yea they have been. She asked him to pay some of the payments at one point, but I don't know if I believe that. Anyway, I guess she gave him some of her old bras, the small ones. She went from like an A or B cup to a D cup and she gave him the old ones. One day when I was hanging out with the weirdo he was like 'Hey do want some of her old bras? She gave me the old ones after she had her boob job.'"

"You have got to be kidding me, he wanted to give you his girlfriends old bras?" I exclaimed.

"I didn't, don't worried. But that just goes to show how nuts he can be sometimes. I don't even know if he was drunk."

"Were they still together or had they broken up?" I asked.

"Nope, they were definitely still together." He answered.

Every once and while you hear about celebrity underwear going up for sale on the internet. Sometimes they claim the money is going to charity, but usually it is for attention. I would like to think the person that got ahold of the celebrity undergarments is either the celebrity, a manager or advisor with permission to do so, or a stalker. Any of these sound better than a significant other giving away what might be a kinky romantic gift for no real reason. Maybe this is a betrayal of trust, but mostly it just plain weird. Not that giving away used braziers is not odd, but to have your serious boyfriend want to give it away to a friend is wrong on so many levels. The suggestion was not even made out of spite after a break up, which makes the whole situation even more bizarre.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Body Dysmorphia and Other Rumors

As a barely 20-something Sales Representative, I had the pleasure of working with a great number of 20-something and late 20-something Sales Representatives. One of the late 20-something Sale Representatives I worked with enjoyed dating 18 and 19 year old girls. I could sit here and preach about the maturity differences, about the possibility of taking advantage of younger women, and the disconnect that can occur but most people already know about these issues. This particular 20-something co-worker physically LOOKED more like a 40-something while in his late 20s, so the constant courting of younger women made him even less appealing.

"She is younger than ME, what are you doing dating her?" I asked my 20-something male co-worker as his most recent fling wandered off.

"Whatever, you're just jealous," he said with wink, "She's cool we will hang out. I am thinking about taking her on a birthday lunch date or something because I am going out with the other girl later that night."

"Well you're going to have make sure you can sign her out school, then again they might believe you are her father," I joked.

My 20-something male co-worker did not like this joke. He had no problem making fun of other people but whenever anyone alluded to him looking 15 years older than he was because of hair loss and premature wrinkles he got angry.

"Don't you ever make fun of my hair line again!" He said and stormed off.

A few minutes later another co-worker showed up and questioned his absence. I explained to her what had taken place with the barely legal girl, him messing around on the side, and a crack about his appearance.

"I think he has reverse body dysmorphia, you know?" She laughed, "He thinks he is like Ryan Reynolds or somebody but neither of us find him attractive and he tends to date skanks, or girls that are close to underage."

"Or both!"

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

NOT Another College Girl Cont.

My 20-something co-worker showed up to work the day after meeting up with a girl he was trying to at least sleep with, or possibly have a relationship with, in a fowl mood.

"So how did it go with the reporter?"

"You were right, she did bring her boyfriend," he answered monotonously, "He is such a douche bag. I had the worst night just sitting there with her and her boyfriend and a group of people I don't even know. She really isn't even one of my friends!"

"Why did you even bother to stick around? If she was there with her boyfriend why didn't you just leave?" I asked attempting to show he may have been even a more douche bag for attempting to fool around with another guy's girl.

"Because we ended up making out when he went outside to smoke for a while and talk on his phone," boasted my 20-something co-worker, "We were both drunk, I invited her to my party, but I hope she does bring her boyfriend."

I do not think my 20-something co-worker ever managed to bag this broad. About a year later I saw her out with the same boyfriend she claimed she was going to dump soon, so I guess they never broke up either. I suppose this little incident was just a teporary lapse in judgement on all of their parts.