Monday, October 31, 2011

Two Families, Two Countries

Women have written books and made millions telling the story of their cheating husband that had two families in two different places. I never thought they were lying, but I didn't think I would ever meet someone with a similar experience.

"I was working off shore for a long time with this one dude, he had a wife and a few kids in the US. We worked off shore close to Thailand, I think, and he met some chick there and married her. She ended up having his kid too, but his plan when his contract was over was to pick up and go back to the United States and forget about her," said one of my co-workers.

"That's a dick move," I said fully knowing this was not an uncommon story.

"Yea it is. So we were leaving the rig for the last time and stepped off the helicopter pad. Standing at the gate was his US wife and kids there to "surprise" him, and not fifteen feet away was his Thailand wife and kid," he said. "This dude could not believe it-as soon as he saw them-he begged the supervisor to let him get back on the helicopter and go back off shore."

"Did he let him leave?" I asked.

"Hell no, he slapped him on the shoulder and told him he was on his own and he was going to have to deal with it at some point," continued my co-worker.

I found out later his US wife got a divorced and took him to the cleaners, and he deserved it. Her monthly alimony check was five-figures not counting child support.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Only Thing an Old Woman Can Do Is Find a Younger One

One day after all my work was done, I sat down with the head of the site. He was an older man from the south, new to the site but not to the field. Being polite I asked him about his home, and who he left behind-if he missed his wife or girlfriend, his kids or his pets. Most of the guys I work with are anything but coy, but I was still taken aback by his answer.

"Hell no I don't miss my wife!" he said laughing, "I married her because I knocked her up at 15 and her daddy made me marry her. I was actually dating her sister in college at the time, but her daddy showed up and said she was pregnant and I was the one that did it!"

"You stayed married all these years?" I asked.

"Yea but she knew I had other women. I always told her when I was coming home and gave her a few days notice. She stayed with me for the money and I didn't want her to take half of everything-but I finally gave her joint control of the bank accounts she took all my cash. So now we are getting a divorce."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said.

"Don't be! She's old now! I'll get my money back and besides-the only thing an old women can do is bring me a younger one."

Obviously this was not the story from a 20-something, but the women he dated were. He proceeded to show me pictures of the young beautiful women he dated on the side. I knew it was only because of his wealth, and he probably did too.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Stepping Out of the Shower

"I do have a pretty big cock," said one of my co-workers. In the context of the conversation-where they continually asked me how large my boyfriends' (past and present) genitals were-it was not entirely out of no where.

"This one time I stepped out of the shower and 'D had these two girls over, one was starring at it and was 'oooooh' so I grabbed it and wiggled it around in a circle to tempt her," continued my 20-something co-worker.

"She kept starring at me so I was like 'Yea you like that!'"

Why he did this was not as curious as to why there were girls hanging out near the men's bunkhouse near the shower. I know better than to go near there, but most girls do not. My other co-workers applauded this action. Many stated they remembered the incident and offered their encouragement.

Sadly this co-worker had just gotten married. He also has a very young daughter.

I am a person that believes in karma of sorts. Gene Simmons has a beautiful young daughter after bedding more women than he can count. Steve Tyler had three or four daughters. One is a model, another one of the most beautiful and talented actresses in Hollywood, and his youngest is a talented singer who may take after her father. I know one day my coworkers will face challenges with their daughters-this is repayment for their behavior when they are away from home.